Next-generation space toilet ready in five years ::: Pink Tentacle

Hey, you: the ones threatened and appalled by gay marriage (I’m pointing my ring finger at you Huckabee.)  The debate around gay marriage revolves around the “M” word, and is one of semantics.  So I suggest it be solved with semantics.

Here’s my pitch: Divorce the word “marriage” from the governments vocabulary.  State governments–who have the constitutional right to manage marriages now–will lose that right in favor of the right to manage civil unions which grant all the rights previously afforded by marriage.  Religions get to bicker about the meaning of marriage until the end of time.

I think you (Huckabee, et al.) are adamant because you believe the word “marriage” to be sacred.  Me too, but my sacred is sometimes your profane.  In your eyes, we heathens are already going to hell.  Isn’t that enough for you?

Let us have our wacky religions[2], and call our partnerships “Marriages”, “See Youz”, or “Drunken Errors” as we see fit.  You can still stand in the public square, denounce and proselytize.  Some will listen and be converted, most will walk by not realizing that a tiny percentage of the population will accept Christ and disappear into the Rapture.  The rest of us schmucks will be stuck with the four riders.  (Hmm.  They might have already showed.  Did the Rapture happen while I was watching scrambled porn?)

Finally, you: folks who think it will only be equal in the eyes of the state if it has the same name.  You may be right, but I think declaring the rights of “civil unions” equal in Uncle Sam’s eyes would be and give that 62.5%[1] of freaked-out Americans some migraine relief, and why do you care about what they think anyway?

[1] Statistics provided by the Hearsay, Hearsay and Aegis Guest Foundation

[2] For instance, I am a Trans-humanist Hedonist Quantum Shaman.   Say that 3 times fast.  Those of my faith–and by that I mean me–usually just refer to ourselves as “Trahuhequies”.  We are presently offering memberships for 99 cents per month and the holy hypertext should be available as an iphone app by 09/29/2009.

[3] Can we please find a less arrogant name for ourselves?  Costa Ricans are Americans too.  How about we adopt USers, and own our bad habits (e.g. 5% of the worlds populations consuming 20% of the worlds resources).  I guess it takes a lot of stuff to be the greatest nation on earth.

Not that I don’t appreciate a white Christmas.  Happy Holidays Seattle, especially to those who shredded powder on Denny in a row boat.  Sorry I missed that.

Still, I’m ready for cloudy skies, foggy streets, and ubiquitous drizzle, eased by the liquid sunshine we call java.  My neighbor Gene tells me that Seattle used to see this kind of weather, but he’s been known to pull my leg after a few glasses of wine.  I could look it up, but I vowed never to let the truth get in the way of a good story.  You can google too, you know.

Since snow seems to be melting 3D has de-escalated from threat level white to gray.  We still have Fez doing brief, randomly timed patrols to determine if the slush is retreating.  “Sporadic vigilence”, that’s our motto.

via

GOOD » Neighborhood Watch: Wednesday, Dec. 17»

» Third World 2.0»

Snow flakes highly magnified by a low-temperature scanning electron microscope (SEM). The colours are called “pseudo colours”, they are computer generated and are a standard technique used with SEM images.

via Kung Fu Grippe

With the help of Captain Cheryl we were able to recapture the north pass and valley.  Those of the enemy’s forces we weren’t able to capture where pinned down.  We were able to contain several battalions, but weather conditions forced us to withdraw. No doubt many will escape.

Morale is wavering.  There seems to be no end to them, arriving seemingly out of thin air.  I tell the troops that their numbers are not a reason to despair, but a reason to rally; that no leaf attack has ever stood up to a Seattle winter.

Still I implore you, send additional troops!  If we orchestrate a surge in early December, the enemy will be all but finished.

Field Commander Jack Tiberius Black

I swear that I try not to just rehash boingboing, but man they get some super fun stuff.